lineJesus is LORD!
When I was in my late 20s and early 30s I got really into erotic hypnosis for a while and listened to one that had me jizz on my own face (and in my mouth!) a couple times. It was kinda fun until it happened then I was like wtf did I just do, never ever again! But then of course I listened to it more than once, lol. I went almost totally celibate for about 5 years because of shame over porn addiction and a fear of completely losing control which I felt was happening. I don’t really know what happens, and I don’t really know what my opinion on it is anymore either. It’s like, can we not have any enjoyment or exploration in this life at all? Is sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose on procreation the only valid answer? I can’t say the consequences that hit me weren’t painful, they were and it was very difficult to recover, and I definitely won’t do it again, but I can’t say I would do anything different either if I could, and I’m not entirely sure I actually had much of a choice in the first place. Some temptation is insanely difficult to resist, and once it’s got you it’s pretty much over. I did click “I’m over 18” when it wasn’t true, but decades of pain seems a bit harsh for one little lie, just based on curiosity in the first place. What’s the answer? Maybe every display should have an embedded chip which uses machine learning to detect nudity in the video stream in real-time, and instantly execute the adulterer with an explosion when they violate the sacred covenant, just like with the Ark. Just kidding, I guess it is technically God’s will in a way, but then again God also did seem to relax a bit as time went on and we do live in different times. Maybe just black it out, or much funnier replace it with machine generated SFW porn. Idk. Tldr I came on my own face more than once. I also crossdressed and got banged a few times, which was kind of way more fun than it has any business being but it’s probably not very healthy and I could see it quickly becoming a lifestyle. I did learn a lot about how pushy and awful horny guys are to women, very interesting and useful experience. It’s very confusing to try and determine what exactly constitutes “sexual immorality” in the Bible and piece together any coherent sense of what is or isn’t allowed. Homosexuality is forbidden right up there next to mandatory tassels on clothing, by penalty of death. But then later on Jesus seems to say one thing, Paul says another, and I have no idea if I’m supposed to take the entire book at literal face value as if it was manifested specifically for my quest in the Matrix, or if it really was written thousands of years ago and it’s somewhat reasonable for me to try and form my own interpretation of what the big J really meant. There is no way for me to know, but if it’s actually been around for thousands of years then Paul may have done a little bit of a disservice to some people over the millennia if his interpretation was a little too strict, especially women I would say. Whoops. But then again, death by stoning, says the Lord, but then where are the tassels? Lean not on my own understanding, fine, but I feel like I’m getting some mixed signals. For me I think it’s best to continue playing it safe by staying mostly on the conservative side and just mind my own business when it comes to others. My only advice is keep everything in low moderation, avoid notoriously addictive things like opiates (especially because if you need surgery they need to use them to put you under!!), cigarettes, large amounts of alcohol, strong stimulants, etc entirely, and for every harmful thing make sure you do something positive to recover. Just don’t repeatedly hit your brain with the dankest thing possible without recovering. I ended up living in my car and running on a treadmill all day at the gym for several years to recondition myself with that “Are you 18?” button swirling in my head the whole time, and wrote a long angry blog about how women are the devil (they are not, they are absolutely wonderful), so maybe masturbating to porn every day is not the best plan and definitely avoid it. Be sure about what you make your lifestyle, and don’t try to do some enormous project by yourself, learn to work with others, and don’t try to be smarter than you are, lol. There are a LOT of super smart people out there and I’m sure I’m not anywhere near the top.